"My only relief is to sleep. When I’m sleeping, I’m not sad, I’m not angry, I’m not lonely, I’m nothing."-Jillian Medoff (Hunger Point)
My country’s facing a catastrophe. Many lives have lost. Many bodies are still missing and Many hearts are broken. It’s really really heartbreaking, the only thing that i can do is to Pray all night. I am only a college student and i don’t have enough money to donate for my fellow countrymen who are currently suffering. The best thing i can do is to pray for them from the bottom of my heart, i do adore and love my countrymen, that’s why it’s very very hard for me to continue my happy life knowing that a part of my country is facing an insane trial and giving their best to forget the nightmare. Many cities are devastated because of the typhoon, and i won’t blame God because it is a natural disaster. But i do hope and wish that sooner or later all of the pain will be vanished… And may the souls of the dead people, be at peace.
I am prone to pervert’s or rapist or whatever you call it. Like really, i don’t even know why me? Like i’m so thin, well not so thin hmm, maybe petite. I don’t know what is the freaking hell wrong with them. Fak, they chose to target me. I’ve encountered like 6 of them already, and i swore to you guys, t’was a nightmare. 6 fucking nightmares! I’M A PROUD VIRGIN. I’ve never been touched. I am very lucky because i know how to protect myself from them. They’re everywhere! For fuck’s sake! And i’m so glad i have amazing circle of friends whose always there to look out for me, they care for me so goddamn much. Everywhere i go, every time i go home, every day i commute, i feel like everyone will do something bad bout’ me. I’ve learned to protect myself not only to those pervert guys but also for those who are criminal. I always secure my safety because at the end of the day, all i ever have is me.
I just want to confront you and tell you that, it so fucking hurts. You thought that i am happy because i chose to changed?! Hell no! It fucking hurts, bigtime. All i know that change can help me ease the pain. But i was wrong. Absolutely wrong, i forgot to think that you are you. You won’t do anything, you don’t even stopped me from changing. I don’t know anymore baby. I guess i am the only one who thinks that our relationship is precious. I forgive you to the things that fucking hurts me, but why? Why are you so unfair? I forgive you yet you don’t forgive me. Note that the things that i did was way too simple than the things that you did. I always cry ever since the beginning. You’re not even there when i needed you the most. I feel like you don’t want me to come in, in your life. You didn’t even tell secrets and your problems to me. How come baby? It fucking hurts. You broke my heart into tiny little shits!
I seriously don’t like my new blockmates, hey don’t blame me. They are the ones who makes me feel this way. They kept on chatting and chatting like no ones talking in front, do they even have a respect? Idk. Maybe they’re really like that ever since, but can they just know their responsibilities as a college student. Annoying brats, they are such a pain in the ass! And i really hate it when they make fun of our professor, like really girls? Are you really a so called college student? Lol, i think you’re a bunch of ugly bitches, fooling around and don’t even have a single respect! Act like one, please?! Ugh. I know i am judging them but i really can’t accept the fact that they’re like that. They even have the guts to take a selfie when our prof is talking in front, note that she is sitting in front. Seriously, people nowadays. They’re stressing me out. zzzzzz
I don’t know why i believe in this. I believe that we have a second life, i mean yes. We do have second life, and that’s the time when we’re already dead and gone away. Where heaven and hell is the only place you could live. And reincarnation suddenly popped on my head. What if? What if, after we die. Our soul will rebirth and go to another body? And we’ll not remember anything about our past lives. Seriously, that’s what you get if you keep on reading some fiction stories, it gave me false hope. But who knows? We will never know.